nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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