she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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