So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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