You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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