But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
