Only a mothe r could love this liver
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
