the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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