Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
