Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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