No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
