Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize