Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Shame is for Republicans.
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