every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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