Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize