weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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