my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
