I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I need moral support for this bender
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
