when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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