i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
