I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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