Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it's like iHOP with fire
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
