So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
