Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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