happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
