There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You can't just leave with hair like that
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
