I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
