all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
