Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
