he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
