my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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