i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
