Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
