They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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