so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
