I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize