so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
