yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
