She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
