So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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