nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
