At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
