all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
its liver damage thursday
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