she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
