you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Its about making memories worth repressing
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
