bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
