DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you had me at cake vodka
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
