just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm always down for nudity.
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