I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
