just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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