clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We have so much sex to catch up on
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
