yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
