Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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