im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
