My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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