Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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