my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
