I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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