I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
