Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
