All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
