accomplished twins. life is a go
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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