We named our party play list daddy issues
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
