Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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