Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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