ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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