Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
