i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
